So You Wanna Be an Acolyte
by ColdFusion180
Summary: Pietro wants to join the Acolytes and gets an unforgettable welcome.


**Note: This takes place sometime between or during "Day of Recovery" and "Stuff of Heroes".**

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So You Wanna Be an Acolyte

"Where's Mags?" Pyro asked as the Acolytes stood waiting outside the entrance to the Training Dome.

"Don't know," Remy replied as he casually twirled around his staff. "He told us to come here immediately but he never showed up."

"I hope he does not have us do the Atomic Volcano scenario," Piotr said.

"Yeah, I hate those jumping lava mines. And the giant armored crabs," Remy grumbled.

"Suck it up you wimps," Sabertooth growled. "You all complain and barely make it though each time."

"Hey, we're not the ones who came in dead last during the last session," Pyro snapped.

"Yeah, we're just as tough as you," Remy backed Pyro up. "So back off!"

"Enough!" Magneto strode into the entranceway causing the Acolytes to fall silent.

"Wow. Is this the Danger Room rip off you told me about?" Pietro appeared behind Magneto.

"Hey, what's he doing here?" Remy asked.

"Pietro has expressed interest in becoming an Acolyte," Magneto said. "Due to his recent actions I felt he deserved a chance."

"What? Ya mean he joins up just like that?" Sabertooth grunted. "Why?"

"Maybe because he is the boss's son," Piotr suggested.

"Figures," Sabertooth rolled his eyes.

"Pietro will not 'join up' by default," Magneto explained. "He will have to prove himself worthy.

"Oh I will," Pietro gave a confident smile. "I'll pass any challenge you got in store."

"Oh really," Remy grinned and gave Magneto a look. "Can we?"

"Very well," Magneto nodded.

Remy walked over and threw an arm around Pietro's shoulder. "_So you wanna be an Acolyte. One of the elite. You must have formidable powers. Not just quick feet._"

"Hey! My powers are formidable!" Pietro huffed. "Having super speed is great!"

"Oh yeah?" Sabertooth growled and got in his face. "_Can you take out a tank that's armed to the teeth if you need to?_"

"Ooo, that's tough," Pietro blinked.

"_Can you sneak, can you fight, can you toil all night when you need to?_" Remy asked. "_Well you might as well quit, if you haven't got it._"

"Well that doesn't sound that bad," Pietro shrugged before being shoved in front of Magneto. "Oh boy," Pietro gulped.

Magneto glared down at him. "_So you wanna be an Acolyte. Can you pass the test? You must have what it takes inside you. I only take the best._"

"_Well you work and you sweat, til you get used to forms of bodily pain_," Pyro shot a small blast of fire in Sabertooth's face.

"YEOW!" Sabertooth yelped.

"_Then you near lose your mind, when you find all your teammates are insane_," Piotr sang as Sabertooth whacked Pyro on the head. "_So you might as well quit, if you haven't got it_."

The Acolytes slowly approached Pietro. "_Putting him in the dome, boss. Look at what you found! We can use the fun, boss. Pushing him around!_"

"_Well show him the ropes_," Remy smirked as he charged up some cards. "_And destroy his hopes._" Pietro gulped nervously.

"_Put him in the dome, boss. Give the boy a chance!_" Sabertooth grinned an evil grin and revealed his claws. "_Let him feel the sting, boss. We can make him dance!_"

"_We'll pulp him to bits,_" the Acolytes sang. "_Then he'll call it quits, for sure boss!_"

"Uh, ya know maybe I was a little too quick in volunteering for this," Pietro started to back out of the entranceway, but was blocked by Magneto. "Or not."

Magneto loomed over Pietro as he started to force him toward the entrance to the Training Dome. "_So you wanna be an Acolyte. Wanna join the team. Well you'll work until the day when, mutants reign supreme._"

"_Well you'll train every day, all work and no play in the big dome!_" Piotr and Pyro sang.

"_Better pray you survive, and make it through alive to come back home!_" Remy and Sabertooth grinned.

"Survive?" Pietro gulped and started to shake. "Wait a minute…"

"_So you might as well quit. If you haven't got it,_" the Acolytes surrounded him. "_Put him in the dome, boss. Something new to punch! Let me have a go, boss. Making him go crunch!_"

"_We'll make it quite swift,_" Pyro laughed maniacally. "_Then he'll get the drift._" Pietro started to visibly sweat.

The Acolytes closed in on Pietro until he was forced back against the doors. "_Put him in the dome, boss. Chicken a la carte! Let me have a wing, boss. Tearing him apart! The chicken will crow!_"

"Father!" Pietro begged.

Magneto ignored him. "_It's time Pietro!_" Magneto opened the doors, causing Pietro to stumble into the Training Dome. The doors then shut with a clang.

"Boy that was fun!" Pyro laughed.

"What are you going to have him do?" Piotr asked.

"Oh, a little of everything," Magneto replied as the Acolytes headed to the control booth.

"Now he's gonna get it," Sabertooth snickered.

"You wanted us to intimidate him didn't you?" Remy asked.

"Yes," Magneto admitted as they reached the control booth and moved to the controls.

"Hey! What's going on?" Pietro yelled. "Is anybody listening…WHAT THE HECK?! ARE THOSE LASERS? AAAHHHHHH!"

"But why?" Piotr asked.

"OW! OW! OW! YEOOOWWW! THAT HURTS! NO NOT THE BUZZSAWS! WHY ARE THERE ALWAYS BUZZSAWS? AAARRRGGGHHH!"

"I decided long ago to never spend any more time around that lunatic than I had to," Magneto explained. "He'll be begging to leave after he's done in there. I'll let him think he's earned some points with me and maybe send him back to hunt down the remains of the Brotherhood. Tell him to get them in shape or something."

"HA! STUPID ROBOTS! YOUR CLAWS CAN'T GET ME! HEY WHAT THE…**QUICKSAND**! I CAN'T MOVE! HELP! FATHER! ANYBODY! AAAHHHHHH!"

"Good idea," Remy nodded. "But doesn't he know where the base is now?"

"NOT THE GIANT CATTLE PRODS! YEOOOWWW! I DON'T WANNA BE ELECTROCUTED! IT'LL RUIN MY HAIR! AAAHHHHHH! WHAT IS THIS STUFF?! IT BURNS!"

"No," Magneto said. "He was in a sphere during the whole trip. For all he knows we could be on the moon. He doesn't have the slightest idea where we are."

"HOW CAN IT BE RAINING GIANT SCORPIONS?! GAAAHHHHHH! NOT THE FACE! NOT THE FACE! SOMEBODY SAVE ME! NOOOOOO!"

"Great, the last thing we need is another nut to come over here and cause trouble," Sabertooth growled.

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**Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution or the song "So You Wanna Be a Boxer" from Bugsy Malone.**


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